Nowadays it is hard not to hate. People hurt us with their words, institutions hurt us with their people. Hate is tearing us apart, breaking our spirit and taking pleasure in watching us bleed. But we are trying so hard not to collapse under the weight of all the thoughts we hear in our heads and all the eyes we feel on our backs. Now, it does sound like the opening lines for “Sons of Anarchy”. However, let’s not get distracted and get to the point of this article.
Growing up we are always told education is a key. But when we look at the wealthiest people in the world, we start questioning this statement. Let’s look at some statistics. Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, Mark Zuckerberg, Henry Ford, Steven Spielberg, Bill Gates, etc. Most of them have never graduated from higher institutions.
I am not saying colleges are worthless, because they do serve its purpose in many life scenarios. But here is what I truly believe. What you learned in college is not nearly as important as what you learn after you graduate, no matter what you specialize in. That is why when my friends ask me: “I hate college. Is it normal?” I say yes. I am no longer in college, I have graduated, but I do remember in detail the feelings I had when I went to college. Here are the reasons why you may hate college and the solutions to this problem.
“I hate college because I pay thousands of dollars to go “there, I do not know where” in a hope to figure out what I want to do”. You are 18, how you are supposed to know what you will be doing in the future when you can’t even choose what kind of socks to put on today? Of course, you may feel bad spending your parents’ hard-earned money, but sometimes you need to try things in order to understand if you like them.
People just brainwash you into thinking that college is something that it is not. I actually view a college education as a type of business which sells you a degree. Of course, it sells you a degree with an idea that hopefully a diploma is worth something. You may be thinking that you can get a good job and eventually pay off the tuition fees. But 80% of people I know are working the jobs that have nothing to do with what they studied.
Whenever graduation comes along, and I see happy students receiving their diplomas, the only thing I am thinking of is a teacher saying: “Welcome to the land of unemployment!” These are the two things I hate about college that we can’t fix. But there are more.
Some of the students and me personally hate doing the group work. You get one alpha male who is the boss of the group, who is making all the decisions and does not care if you all agree or not. In addition, you get all of these formal and boring assignments. Why not let an expert deal with your college essay instead?
Group work has made me shiver since the fifth grade. Especially it’s painful when the teachers ask you to pick your own groupmates. I was always the last person picked, for example, in sports. How come educated people can’t understand that it affects kids’ self-esteem?
Sometimes the assignments are less of a problem than relationships with the people around you. Those can hurt you mentally, and they are much harder to handle. Firstly, I need to say that if you are going through four years without a friendly hand on your shoulder, if you are surviving those four brutal years of loneliness, remember that humanity is so much greater than this.
In the US and China, the number of kids being bullied on a regular basis is between 20 and 30%. In Canada and Russia, the number of kids being bullied on a regular basis is between 30 and 40%.
Why are students being bullied? Usually, such students are too focused on getting through the day to really reflect on why it happens. Maybe, they put you down because you do not have a car; maybe, you a sensitive student who was not that hard to bring to the edge of tears. Please know that you can stop the beating, taunting, kicking, and stabbing if you ask for help. Please know that this doesn’t have to last forever. Many kids hate college because of this, and they have a legitimate reason for it.
Bullying is mostly about differences. You understand that bullying is just a dominance behavior, when someone tries to overpower others. It is like the animal kingdom, an alpha male mentality.
Let me share with you a psychological technique my parents taught me when I was studying in high school. So, they are bullying you because they want to see you lose, while they win. And the secret is the more upset and angrier you get, the more fun they have. What would happen if we were resilient, emotionally strong and mentally tough? Then no matter what the hater says, we would not care. It is like someone gives you a bomb in the box as a present, but you know what is in it and just do not accept it. The bomb will explode in the hands of a giver. If you do not let the mean words get to you, they will bounce right off you, believe me. They may want to make you hurt, but you have the power to fend them off.
And it concerns not only bullying in educational establishments. It will happen to you constantly in your life. But once you start to filter what they say, to sort every thought in your head, every seed like Cinderella did, you will understand – it can’t hurt you, because you have already thrown the seeds away in the trash.
I know there are a million of reasons to hate college, but here are some tips on how to change your attitude. First, try to find your passion, and you will forget about everything else. In my case, it was drums. I just beat out all the words and thoughts that were inside me. If at some point you are thinking “College is making me depressed”, consider changing your major or test the waters at other nearby colleges.
So, is it normal to hate college? Yes. But do not confuse hate with anger, faith with religion and education with college. College should be about inspiring your mind, not just filling your head with bunkum and eyes with tears.