Once in a lifetime, you have probably asked yourself one crucial question. “Am I good enough?” And what was your answer? Let’s admit it, everybody wants to be loved, adored and appreciated. You can’t learn how to be cool at school. There is no subject for that. However, it should be considered as basic knowledge. Not a secret that healthy self-esteem helps in work and in relationships with other people. Coolness means having harmony with yourself. Needless to say, you need to work pretty hard if you want to reach the point when you feel the balance in your life. Don’t you think that it is actually worth the effort? Good news is that you can learn how to be cool now. The right time to stop worrying.
Why do you have to be cool?
You want to be cool. But why? Don't you feel like you are doing just fine? Luckily, it’s only human nature to develop and self-improve. You can be a better version of yourself! Just stop looking at your personality through the prism of other people. Relatives, friends, partners, colleges. They all want to give you their comments. When you don’t have a clear vision of yourself, you believe anything that other people think about you. However, they are not always right.
To break this pattern of dependency, you will need to work on your individuality a bit and become self-confident. You should do it primarily for yourself.
Being cool means being confident, smart and have the courage to express own opinions. Let's see how this can be learned.You are not a trash can
First and one of the most important things. You need to analyze what kind of information your brain absorbs every day. Millennials live in the digital age, and you may notice that it is full of spam. Advertisements, television, mobile applications, Facebook, Instagram. It takes a lot of time and energy to process all the information. Are you sure you need to know it all?
Monitoring information you get is important because it shapes your views on the world. If you watch reality TV shows, you might start thinking that the world is full of emotionally unstable people and dramas. People used to say we are what we eat. Now it's the right time to state that we are what we’re subscribed to. What do you want your life to look like?
Remember that you have a choice. You can always unsubscribe, delete an app, stop watching the show. If you want to be interesting, you need to be able to find proper resources of information. You can find bloggers whom you admire. Not for their beauty or money, but their personalities. If you use Instagram daily, make sure to find Instagrammers who inspire you.
It goes without saying that there are some photos on Facebook or Instagram that make you sad or jealous. It happens to everybody because people don’t have it all. Something is usually missing. And it’s not a secret that people with perfect Instagram profiles fake a lot. So, if looking at someone’s profile creates a feeling of insecurity, you will have to unfollow it. Being overwhelmed with negative emotions doesn’t have anything in common with being cool.
Getting rid of something that makes you depressed is a good start. There is a second important step to take. If you want to learn how to be cool and confident, you need to truly love yourself. You must have heard it. It is as simple as that. Taking millions of pictures of yourself for social media is self-absorption and need for attention and appreciation. Not what you are looking for. Loving yourself means giving yourself the best. Interesting information, healthy food, comfortable cloth, friendly people. You are responsible for your soul and body. You must give it the best treatment because it’s unique, it's yours. Start asking yourself questions. Having a little dialogue with your inner voice isn’t harmful.
The questions you can ask yourself today:
Do we like these jeans? Do we feel comfortable enough?
Will we feel good after eating this hot-dog?
Are we satisfied with this friendship?
What will make us happy today?
Loving yourself is the supreme principle of coolness. Keep in mind, that you don’t have to look for love, demand it from your friends, parents, and partner. You already have it.Forgive yourself
Being cool is the same as being confident. It is a balance in life. The easiest way to get there is to forgive yourself. People have always been too hard on themselves. Perhaps you also sometimes think that your mistakes are huge and everybody can see them. It is a great delusion. People may talk about you, but the truth is that they really don’t care. They have own problems to deal with. Why should you be so angry at yourself if something goes wrong? You are a cool person, and you don’t have to stay all night long thinking what you have done. Just forgive yourself.What are you good at?
What makes other people cool and interesting? They always have something to share with us. And this is very magnetic. Knowledge and skills are essential, it helps humans to survive. Indeed, you can’t stop developing your skills or reading books after school and college are over. It is a lifelong process.
Think of what you can share with others. Are you a worthwhile human being? Maybe you speak several languages. Or you are really good at cooking. Being useful gives you extra points. The knowledgeable and intelligent person has value.
Every day you can ask yourself what you learned, saw or practiced. There should be something you want to learn. To make it clearer for yourself, write a list of your skills and the fields, you are expert in. You will see what knowledge gaps you have and what needs to be improved.Improve your communication skills
In short, people are weird. It is difficult to predict their behavior, and they make us sad sometimes (pretty often actually). Perhaps we should also point out the fact that you cannot avoid speaking to people. You need to communicate and build relationships. After all, a human is a social creature. Before planning to win the world over think of your beloved ones. Is there something to improve? One small step at a time.
The key to improving your communication skills is just here. You need to stay open-minded, remember that every person is unique and can teach you something. People will love talking to you if you are a good listener and when you make them feel important. You should definitely try to speak to different kinds of people. You know well that being cool implies being able to talk to anybody. Don’t be afraid to ask your boss something or have a little chat with your neighbor in the elevator. Nothing bad will happen. When you start treating everybody as equals, you will see that finding common ground with anybody is not so difficult. Try with starting little chats here and there and make it your habit.Have an opinion
Being cool means being an individual. One thing all individuals have in common is that they have own opinions. Of course, you can think the way your parents, teachers, wife or husband tell you to. But how cool is this? You can trust your beloved ones or public figures. From another hand, how do you know if they tell you the truth? It’s time to turn your critical thinking on. If you haven’t done so yet. Every time you hear a new piece of information assume that it can be wrong. Even if it sounds like something, you’d believe into. Ask more questions and do fact-checking.
Also, feel free to express your opinion but make sure you have good arguments and be open for discussion. It is ok when someone disagrees with you. Everyone has a right for own opinion, and so do you.
Critical thinking will underline your individuality. Moreover, it will protect you from manipulations.Be brave
What else prevents you from being cool if not your fear? The coolness is within you, but there are so many fears that hold you back. What if they laugh at me? What if I am a loser? What if I ruined my life? There were so many books written for us to understand that fears are unrealistic in most cases. You shouldn’t be afraid of speaking to that musician who played on the jam session last night. The critical point here is that your lazy brain doesn't want to think what to say and creates this fear .“The musician will think I’m a weirdo”. But you will never know unless you try.Be positive
One thing cool people never do. They don’t complain about their lives. It just feels so uncomfortable to be around someone who is usually miserable and depressed. It only takes the energy and doesn’t give anything in return. Try to think if you have such friends. How many hours were you able to listen to their sad stories? What is your record?
Once in a lifetime, you have probably asked yourself one crucial question. “Am I good enough?” And what was your answer? Let’s admit it, everybody wants to be loved, adored and appreciated. You can’t learn how to be cool at school. There is no subject for that. However, it should be considered as basic knowledge. Not a secret that healthy self-esteem helps in work and in relationships with other people.
You are not a robot, and of course, it is impossible to stay happy 24 hours straight. However, there is no sense to complain about something without finding a solution to your problem. Don’t get too emotional saying that it’s the end of the world. Positive attitude towards life is a healthy mature approach.
At the end of the day, there are only two types of problems. The ones you can solve and the ones you can’t do anything about. If you are late because of traffic and your phone battery went dead, just let it go. Yes, you will be late. It’s a fact, but at the moment you can’t do anything about it. It’s not your problem anymore because you don’t have an impact on the traffic. You’d better think what music you want to listen to while you are stuck on the road. Find better solutions for yourself. Being miserable is simple. Being smart and positive is cool!Live in your own time zone
For some people getting married at the age of 17 is a regular thing. Other do it at the age of 45 and don’t see anything wrong in that. And there so many examples like this. The reason for this is that everyone lives in their own time zone. Comparing yourself to others isn’t the option because we are all different.
Do what you like and when you feel like it. Your life is a gift, and only you can decide what to do with it.